Saturday, September 25, 2010

Hamburger 'Helper' Hill

There's a war being waged on the hill - a war against entropy! Let's take a look at Hamburger Helper Hill:

Less than six months ago, an unused greenhouse sat idle on this spot. Not having sufficient sun to make effective use of a greenhouse, I decided to make better use of the space. So over the course of two weekends, I demolished the greenhouse and brought in seven cubic yards of compost, one wheelbarrow load at a time. With a freshly contoured hillside springing up in my backyard like a volcano, it was time to plant a few signs of life on the desolate landscape. So off to the nursery I did go. See D!ck run! See D!ck run to the plant nursery! Oh wait, wrong story. >:)

So I planted a few colorful choices of plants at strategic locations throughout the landscape. Now it was time to sit back and care for my new mini-garden within the garden. That's when nature decided to declare war on the hill.

First, nature decided to attack using the elements. The first attack wave was a heat wave. The summer heat baked the still barren soil while rains were few and far between. No watering can exists that's large enough to handle keeping this soil moist like the buttery leg of roasted Thanksgiving turkey. But even through the occasional 24-consecutive-hour shifts I at work that plagued me, I managed to keep the bulk of the plants alive. That's when the second wave hit.

Now the second wave announced it's arrival with the smell of “Mountain Pew!” What's that you ask? Why it's the “byproduct” of canned cat food. Yes, I'm talking about my yard becoming the neighborhood litter-box for all the cats. Let me tell ya, these cat's wield weapons of @ss destruction! :))

Of course, to get to the litter-box, the cats take a trip down scenic route 666. Anyone remember the cat superhighway? Or even more specifically, “Satan”? I bet Waitlisted remembers Satan because she coined the name. B) Well, the superhighway still exists and is going strong. In fact a new exit ramp exists and it cuts right through Hamburger Helper Hill. I'm almost considering some natural barbed wire fencing like blackberry thickets were it not that they're nearly impossible to eradicate.

Still, throughout all that, I've managed to keep Hamburger Helper Hill alive. And if the winter isn't too brutal, I may have some spectacular pictures to post next year.